Friday, September 12, 2008

73 posts of RMAUR! ...Dethroning the bible as the most influencial and historically accurate publication of all-time.

You've laughed, cried, and potentially sharted from my writings. You've been there through the good times when I had plenty to write about such as Hawaii and the European travels and you stuck with me through the dry months of early 2008.

I'd like to take a stroll down memory lane if you will. These writings were hand plucked from the many based on comments received as well as how much fun I had writing them. From oldest to most recent. Be sure to vote.

1. Ridiculousness knows no bounds; Chasing that dollar one maladjusted individual at a time. - The twisted perversion that started it all. Craigslist ad I posted offering myself as hot man-meat for hire.

2. Jesus may love you but everyone else thinks you are fucking annoying - Door-to-door bible pushers interrupts a Wings playoff game ... and my hockey induced chubby.

3. I want to nail a flight attendant ... there I said it! - I tackle weighty issues such as public obesity, a.m drinking, and what it would be like to nail a flight attendant.

4. I feel like everyone on this island is taking crazy pills! - I systematically point out people's short comings and inadequacies from the island of Maui.

5. Sagen sie "insulin pump" im deutsche? - Colette and I stammer around Berlin at 12:30 a.m looking for syringes armed only with her keen sense of direction and my very broken German.

6. 60 is the new 18 - I sexually objectify 4 geriatric women based on their aging and sagging merits.

7. People/places/things that chap my ass. - A collection of varies things that piss me off such as loud cell phone talkers, reality television, and Tom Cruise.

8. Sex, songs and self-indulgence - I compile a list where I talk about my favorite songs and what they mean to me whilst trying my best not to mention the R word.

9. If Jesus home brewed - In an effort to produce a blog that will humor both my hardcore crude audience and my ultra-conservative right wing readers, I nearly incite yet another war over the subject of religion.

10. If you love it so much, why don't you marry it!?! - I comment about things I enjoy and why I enjoy them in an effort to deflect my building reputation as negative and judgmental.

11. God loves you ... unless you're gay :( - I discover a story of a formerly gay man who claims he can Change Homosexuals into Ordinary People (CHOPS)

You can vote numerous times if you are having a hard time narrowing it down to 1 or maybe even 7!

RMAUR - Always a hole-in-one!

1 comment:

Pa! said...

Ma says: You have to add ""I'm going to blow a gasket" That is my top pick and it isn't even on the list!