Tuesday, January 29, 2008

60 is the new 18

I've always harbored a love for good looking older women. It's pretty impressive when a women can keep from falling apart at the hinges through the body wrecking catastrophe that is pregnancy. I think it really started when I was 21 and I had a 42 year old hottie of a landlord named Kathy. She was married and I was a lonely little college student dreaming of the day in which she would come over to my house, well her house, just to see me instead of doing some mundane repair in her skimpy shorts and tight shirt. Tease.

Martha Stewart
Age: 66
Claim to fame: Can cook and make crafty household items.
Sex appeal: Not only did she served a 5 month prison sentence but could potentially prepare prime rib to satisfy post-coital hunger.

Farah Fawcett
Age: 61
Claim to fame: Actress
Sex Appeal: Was on the cover of Playboy “back in the day.” Knowing that several thousand 13 year old boys have jerked it to your photo has got to be about as unnerving as knowing you were the guy that told Hitler, “hey, Adolf! You're pretty good at this politics thing. Have you ever thought about running for office?”

Goldie Hawn
Age: 61
Claim to fame: Birthed that hot little biscuit of a daughter Kate Hudson.
Sex appeal: Not really sure where on this one. I've been told she is sexy but I'm having a hard time seeing it. Could really do without those nasty Ball Park Frank hot dog lips.

Florence Henderson
Age: 73
Claim to fame: Mom from "Brady Bunch"
Sex Appeal: Managed to stay thin after three grueling television pregnancies. The cruel irony of the situation is, while Carol was lusting for Mike Brady on the show, Mike most likely had a raging boner with Peter's name on it!

Honorable mention goes to Beatrice Arthur. B.Arthur sports robust sex appeal built into that rugged 6 foot frame coupled with a sultry smokers rasp. They don't built em' like pre-Great Depression Dorothy anymore. She has been excluded from the poll solely because of her age (she might not be alive long enough to see the results of this poll.) It's not because she isn't sexy enough because I'm sure there is still plenty of tread left on those 85 year old tires.


G's dad said...

I can't vote unless I can write in either,...
Barbara Billingsley (who doesn't love a beavers mom?) or
Irene Ryan (for you youngsters, that was granny on the Beverly Hillbilly's.)

Colette said...

g's dad...Barbara Billingsley is 93 years old...wouldn't that count as a reverse statutory rape? she is also so old that no pictures are for viewing at imdb.com, photography most not have been around back then!
i would think this would be the perfect time for you to shout out Ron Paul considering he is getting up there in age...oh and he bombed Florida.

g's dad said...

To g's "C" who said,
"oh and he bombed Florida."
It's not the 1st time in history that the good guy has gotten his ass handed to him.
The strategy Washington evolved consisted of continual harassment of British forces while avoiding general actions. Although his troops yielded much ground and lost a number of battles, they persevered even during the dark winters at Valley Forge,
Win or lose when history is written
Let it not be said "I did nothing"

Melissa said...

Oh snap! Your standing in the inner circle is seriously being reconsidered... you'll be begging to be let on the compound when your McCain/Hillary/Obama wins!

G's mom said...

OMG C, what have you done???!!
I always try to watch your back babe, but you may of determined your own destiny on this one.
You are showing your true colors as a loyalist, rather than a patriot.
A public flogging has been suggested amoung the troops, if you are to remain in good graces of the circle of trust.
I hope you can shed your "Benedict Arnold" reputation.
ALWAYS think Fight club rule #1.

G's G-Ma said...

OH "C" the word is out:(Think Black Sheep) "Mr Thunder Maker here is going to start barking orders" in your direction.

Anonymous said...

WE are every where!

Kirk G. Thompson said...

And then there were four.

Tonight's debate should prove interesting now that Giuliani is out.

Dr. No for President? You know it. Libertarian, constitutional rationalism.

Kirk G. Thompson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Colette said...

from g's C to ALL of g's fam~
what the hell? i say one thing about ron paul (which actually came from g's mouth, I was just scribing) and i get jumped on for it. no one actually knows who i am voting for...not even me!
g's ma...i wouldn't call myself a loyalist, rather an optimist. i do think our government is corrupt but i would like to think that our world isn't coming to an end because of it. who knows.
ps...what the hell does all of this have to do with hot older women? i was just simply stating that it was hard for me to believe that you passed up the opportunity to shout out RP!
So let me take this time to say RON PAUL REVOLUTION KICKS ASS!
I guess I need to take your advice (g's ma) with rule #1, thanks for looking out for me!
oh and who is posing as "g's gma"? and who the fuck is anonymous?

Kirk G. Thompson said...

Speaking of four... these choices in the poll... "60 is the new 18"? WOW, you've a twisted mind. I like it.

Personally, I'd have added... [sorry for the deleted comment, Barbara Eden isn't hot anymore.] well, no. I just looked. She really fell apart in the past couple years. Damn!

Right now, I'm remembering the line from Transformers (2007). "Criminals are HOT!" ...so now you know my choice in the poll.

Garrett Hohn said...

From Colette:
"i say one thing about ron paul (which actually came from g's mouth, I was just scribing)"

She is lying. I would never say anything bad against "our savior"

Garrett Hohn said...

Also, Kirk:

I'm glad someone else sees the sexy appeal of Martha Stewart! Go ahead Kirk vote, be proud! This poll is completely 100% non-biased, no hanging chads, no big media candidate sensorship ... I promise!

Also, I will have to research this hussie Barbara Eden. Has she been in any X-rated DVD's I might already own?

Kirk G. Thompson said...

G-man, Barbra Eden? You've thought about her a lot... dreamed about her... but you Dreamed of Genie. That MUST have been as close to X-rated as possible, back in the day... and I'm sure there were some outtakes that someone must own... and if you are hoarding those clips, let me know! Just don't look at her now-a-days. That was an unpleasant trip to the Google Image Search for me. Poor woman is falling apart!

Melissa said...

I don't think it's RP people predicting the end of the world, I think it's the churchys that say it's all gonna end in 2012, right? Or is it 2013? Either way, we've got enough time to enjoy it corruption free!

Garrett Hohn said...

Mallard - It's actually the Mayan's that came up with that. Suppose to end December 21st, 2012 to be exact. Sadly I won't be running down the stairs with footsie pajama bottoms for Xmas that year .... when I'm 31 :(

G's dad said...

So C, Does this mean,
(Now you know it?)

Kirk said...

Happy Birthday Beatrice Arthur! 86!!! Still want her, G-man?!

Garrett Hohn said...