Saturday, June 28, 2008

Carlin disses religion while Obama prays he was more like JFK

Out here in Oregon, people seem to think that the sun shines out of Barack Obama's ass. Obama this and Obama that. Obama is going to save this country because we are going to have health care for everybody. Obama supports providing college aid to illegal immigrants. Obama said he's going to pickup this round of beers. Yes, all of them sound ridiculous. "Change we can believe in" I believe is the ambiguous tag-line from which he is campaigning. Does anyone think it is ironic that Obama has suggested a second stimulus package while he accosted McCain for mentioning a 17 cent federal gas tax easement. Six of one half dozen of the other? At any rate, Mallard suggested I don this clever little number to "get into everyone's hostile little face." What do you think?

Think the young Dem' registering people to vote outside of Trader Joe's will leave me alone now?

Absolutely brilliant

We won't delve into the reasons why Obama would be inadequate president. Obama preaching change. If only he would "change" the sleeve rolling bit. Come on buddy. We know you weren't balls deep changing a timing belt so stop trying to look like it.

I guess the whole organized religion thing doesn't make sense to me. Of all of the religions out there, how did you choose the one in which you belong? Nearly all people were born into it. When I was a one year old, my favorite food was Gerber's Split pea, my favorite t-shirt had the Cookie Monster on it and I wanted to be a garbage man because they drove big trucks. Just because I liked it when I was one doesn't mean I will like it when I am old. With that logic you would think that the "born again" folk have it all figured out. Not a chance.

It makes me laugh when people get so offended when you "say the lord's name in vain." I've been doing an experiment on Colette (she is not privy to this info) because in the past she had reprimanded me for such outbursts. Well normally when you "God Damn" something, it's because you are pissed off. "God damn I'm hungry" or "God damn piece of shit car." Well I've taken traditional God damning and put my own little spin on it. I used God damn to denote positive events such as when walking down a street "oh, look a God Damn quarter" or "God damn my library books are in... FUCK YES!" Systematically, the reactions I get from Colette has been lessened and lessened and I am thinking the day that she God Damns something is just around the corner. They are just words right?

More about the God thing. My favorite band is Led Zeppelin. I've liked them for 15 years or so. and to me they are godly, much the way some think of this Jeebus character as a deity. I know I really like LZ because I feel that over %50 percent of my life is long enough to outgrow something. In my book, they've stood the test of time. Anyways, I'm passionate about Led Zep but if someone says they suck, I don't lose sleep over it. Different strokes for different folks right? The best part is when someone asks you what religion you are into you calming explain to them that religion is all bullshit. They of course have to act offended because of some ingrained genetic indoctrination, and after the tears have dried and the hurt has subsided, it becomes their mission for you to find Jesus, Allah, Jessica Alba etc ..

But I digress. Let's move onto something a little more tangible. I'd like like to talk about someone that shoots straight from the hip. Someone talks with passion even if it isn't what everyone wants to hear. It's this man's belief that god doesn't exist, and if he did, with all the stuff that is happening in the world, he severely fucked up. George Carlin is kind of a hero of sorts. The FCC had it out for him in the 70's, he denounces religion, and openly admits to never having sex with "a 10" but has nailed "5 two's." I mean, who hasn't been there? Straight from the prophet's, I mean George's, mouth.

When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion."

R.I.P George Carlin


Melissa said...

I can't believe nobodies commented! Obama? Religion? Led Zeppelin? George Carlin??? It's like you're speaking directly from MY heart!

Garrett Hohn said...

I know Mallard. A sad day here at RMAURTIGTTNSI.

sarahL said...

HEY WHOA! are you seriously comparing barack obama to hitler? so does that make you a mccain man? wow...i can compare him to the earth and balls...he is as old as both of these.......