Saturday, June 28, 2008

Carlin disses religion while Obama prays he was more like JFK

Out here in Oregon, people seem to think that the sun shines out of Barack Obama's ass. Obama this and Obama that. Obama is going to save this country because we are going to have health care for everybody. Obama supports providing college aid to illegal immigrants. Obama said he's going to pickup this round of beers. Yes, all of them sound ridiculous. "Change we can believe in" I believe is the ambiguous tag-line from which he is campaigning. Does anyone think it is ironic that Obama has suggested a second stimulus package while he accosted McCain for mentioning a 17 cent federal gas tax easement. Six of one half dozen of the other? At any rate, Mallard suggested I don this clever little number to "get into everyone's hostile little face." What do you think?

Think the young Dem' registering people to vote outside of Trader Joe's will leave me alone now?

Absolutely brilliant

We won't delve into the reasons why Obama would be inadequate president. Obama preaching change. If only he would "change" the sleeve rolling bit. Come on buddy. We know you weren't balls deep changing a timing belt so stop trying to look like it.

I guess the whole organized religion thing doesn't make sense to me. Of all of the religions out there, how did you choose the one in which you belong? Nearly all people were born into it. When I was a one year old, my favorite food was Gerber's Split pea, my favorite t-shirt had the Cookie Monster on it and I wanted to be a garbage man because they drove big trucks. Just because I liked it when I was one doesn't mean I will like it when I am old. With that logic you would think that the "born again" folk have it all figured out. Not a chance.

It makes me laugh when people get so offended when you "say the lord's name in vain." I've been doing an experiment on Colette (she is not privy to this info) because in the past she had reprimanded me for such outbursts. Well normally when you "God Damn" something, it's because you are pissed off. "God damn I'm hungry" or "God damn piece of shit car." Well I've taken traditional God damning and put my own little spin on it. I used God damn to denote positive events such as when walking down a street "oh, look a God Damn quarter" or "God damn my library books are in... FUCK YES!" Systematically, the reactions I get from Colette has been lessened and lessened and I am thinking the day that she God Damns something is just around the corner. They are just words right?

More about the God thing. My favorite band is Led Zeppelin. I've liked them for 15 years or so. and to me they are godly, much the way some think of this Jeebus character as a deity. I know I really like LZ because I feel that over %50 percent of my life is long enough to outgrow something. In my book, they've stood the test of time. Anyways, I'm passionate about Led Zep but if someone says they suck, I don't lose sleep over it. Different strokes for different folks right? The best part is when someone asks you what religion you are into you calming explain to them that religion is all bullshit. They of course have to act offended because of some ingrained genetic indoctrination, and after the tears have dried and the hurt has subsided, it becomes their mission for you to find Jesus, Allah, Jessica Alba etc ..

But I digress. Let's move onto something a little more tangible. I'd like like to talk about someone that shoots straight from the hip. Someone talks with passion even if it isn't what everyone wants to hear. It's this man's belief that god doesn't exist, and if he did, with all the stuff that is happening in the world, he severely fucked up. George Carlin is kind of a hero of sorts. The FCC had it out for him in the 70's, he denounces religion, and openly admits to never having sex with "a 10" but has nailed "5 two's." I mean, who hasn't been there? Straight from the prophet's, I mean George's, mouth.

"
When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion."

R.I.P George Carlin

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Arnold called, he wants his weighlifting record back.

I yield daily e-mails from my fans all across the globe. It seems that, much like the rock band Journey, I am huge in Asia. Content ranges from the asinine, "Garrett, this is your 19-year old college foreign exchange student neighbor down the hall from Japan, Hidaku. Anyways, I'm having a difficult time freeing myself from this constrictive lingerie. Can you help me?" Then there is the extremely complex. "Garrett, this is Al Gore. I'm having a bitch of a time figuring out what to do about this global warming issue." I already allowed him to take credit for the Internet I developed some years ago. I will, however, give him some credit for the naming. "Internet" is very chic and easy to remember. I don't suppose the world was ready for the moniker which I was to bestow this new invention: "Pornwire." Not to be outdone by Asia, the Nordic countries share a love of yours truly. "Hey Garrett, how is the weight lifting routine going." Love Annika, Sweden. Since it sounds like everyone is curious, I'll go ahead an expound.

My whirlwind adventures in Europe didn't exactly help me out in the strength department. It seems 5 weeks of beer, cheese and gyros didn't propell me up the "World's Strongest Man" rankings. However when one door closes, another somewhere else opens. Whilst in France, I didn't go "Boom-Boom" for several days because of the steady dose of exotic cheese. Everyone knows that your first "dookie" after an extended hiatus can serve for a spiritual awakening. Back in the states, the normally arduous task of hoisting my bulbous head off of the pillow in the A.M became near impossible. I had hit an all time low and it was time to get back into the gym. My first workout back in 5 months was brutal. I slumped over and blacked once in between sets (sadly, this part isn't a joke). My weight had ballooned to 181 pounds.

Fast forward to June 23rd, 2008. My day begins just like any other with Pug's snoring waking me up out of a deep slumber at around 9:30 a.m. I politely tell Pug to shut the fuck up and go about brewing up some Cinnamon Spice and Orange Peel Tea along with 3 servings of Grape Nuts. Nothing really clears your bowels like injesting your daily recommended intake of fiber in one sitting. I proceed to sit in my undies, slowly erode my teeth grinding on Grade Nuts, and peruse Craigslist ads for cars and "casual encounters." I don't find any vehicles worth looking at but I do see a WWW4M ad that piques my interest so I fire off an e-mail (gotta play to win right?)

The time is now 11:30

At the gym, I destroy my first 4 sets of bench press with reckless abandon adding 15 pounds to each set since the 6 weeks ago I had last performed 5 x 5. Now for the finally, the send-off, the cout de grate, the menacing 5th set. I stack the big boy plates (45 lbs) on the bar as if they were on going on a clearance sale, "I'll take 1 of these, 2 of those and 1 more for good measure." I sire the assistance of another gym goer, not necessarily to spot me, but to provide as a credibility witness when the Guinness Book officials come by. I begin mental preparation for a long war, there will be many causalities I said to myself, and pecs, you will be wailed upon without mercy. After all the mass graves were discovered, the war criminals were tried and Rambo vowed he was "expendable," I bench pressed a whopping 225 pounds ... 6 times! Not since the Thanksgiving of 2004 have I displayed such an amazing feat of strength and all at a very svelte and sexy 179 pounds!

So long story short, I am "back" in both figurative and literal forms. Some examples might be resurrected, exhumed from the grave, risen from the ashes, back from the light, whatever way you are most familiar with. This supernatural occurrence reaffirms what the world has long known about me for quite some time. Much like a fine wine, Garrett Ryan Hohn continues to get better with each passing year.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Pick-a-Dog

Everyone always says that they wish they had a shot or pill that they could give to little kids that would keep them stuck at a certain precious age. Whenever someone says this, it's usually when they are around such a kid during that ever-so-brief 5 minutes window of time in which they are not puking or misbehaving; luckily I happen to have a a knee jerk quip in my head aimed and poised for immediate vocal expulsion.

For this exercise, you have to imagine those therapists with the ink blots.

Sample dialogue;
1. Person that thinks kids are great in reference to a 9-month-old child: "It's so amazing to watch how quickly little Billy is crawling. Soon he'll be walking!"

Dialogue in my head: "Yeah, walking will enable him to walk up to your yuppie leather couch you still owe money on and shit all over it rendering it worthless"

2. Person that thinks kids are great in reference to a 6-year-old: "I'm so excited for little Billy to start school so he can make lots of friends!"

Dialogue in my head: "I think you meant to say "so Little Billy can act as a host vessel for numerous yet-to-be-named communicable infections/diseases"

3. Person that thinks kids are great in reference to a 12-year-old: "Billy is just so darn smart that he is bored in school and the teachers aren't challenging him enough, that is why he acts out. Once corrected he will win a Pulitzer Prize"

Dialogue in my head: "the only thing that kid is going to win is a beat-down first day of 9th grade"

4. Person/Parent that thinks kids are great in reference to a 27-year-old: "I'm so excited my son Barrett is taking time out of his busy life to come visit his mom and dad in Montana!"

Dialogue in my head: "MOM! THE MEATLOAF! FUCK!"

Suffice to say, I don't necessarily consider myself "parent material." This isn't exactly cutting edge acumen, more so a realization, and more importantly, acceptance of self-perceived limitation. The way I see it, as soon as you have that kid, you relinquish control for roughly 18 years. You're letting the chips fall where they may, and more often than not, those chips will end up blaming you for their developed social inadequacies, not having the coolest toys and genetic defects. Of course, these 18 years will feel like an eternity in hell, this tragic play of life will be broken into numerous chapters characterized by the presence of crying and crisis, a brief interlude in which Junior wrecks your car, followed by a long drawn out conclusion that includes the absence of immanent worth and a life devoid of the desire to carry on. This timetable, mind you, is all arbitrary and could be plus or minus a couple of years depending on extraneous factors such as a severe handicap, the pursuit of a worthless master's degree in art, or, perhaps too importantly, whether or not the State wants to try Junior as an adult. If only more parents in this country would accept that they too would make inept parents, this world would be a better place or at least the well behaved kids would learn more in public schools. An alcolohlic friend of mine I had during my formative college years explained child raising as such, "why would I want to drag anyone else into my miserable life?" I believe he definetly has a point but talking about kids might be a moot point because I'm pretty sure I gave myself an inadvertent vasectomy "riding the pony" in my rec-league hockey days. But I digress. At the end of the day, what is better than someone who loves you unconditionally, requires little food, won't judge you because you are working (pun intended) on a full year of unemployment, and if you reprimand it too severely, won't going squealing to Protective Services? Ok, besides battered Vietnamese women, your other answer should have been "dogs!"

In an ever present quest to settle a debate once and for all, I giveth you RMAURTIGTTNSI's first "Dog-Off!" We have four contestants that I see on a regular basis. I will be your completely unbiased ring master/statistician. Let the games begin and be sure to vote.

Contestant #1:
Full Name: "Kooter-Bell"
Nickname: "Kooter" , "Stupid"
Affiliation: My parents dog

Pro's:
1. Dumb enough to confront a bear thus becoming bait and allowing you to make your getaway unscathed

Con's
1. Shits in the pickup bed on most drives down the road
2. Is an attention whore. She won't let you pet another dog without nudging her skull in between other dog and your hand.
3. Is a literal whore. Unwed mother to 8 offspring. She's been knocked up twice in the last 5 months. She's working on Michelle Duggar number's here.

Contestant #2
Full Name: "Sir Wilbur the Great"
Nickname: "Wilbur" , "Wilby" , "Wilbierto" , "Will-beast"
Affiliation: Mallard's dog


Wilbur in the middle of a sneeze

Never before seen "Zoolander" audition photo


Pro's

1. Lightest contestant in the competition at 12 and three-quarter pounds
2. Does a great roll-over trick
3. Is wickedly enthusiastic over laser lights and incredibly fleet of foot
4. Can be held like a football
5. Lunged at a child's face once

Con's
1. Is a diva. Likes only certain people and only one dog I can think of (in the video)
2. Is fragile. Must be held carefully with 2 hands
3. Can't be picked up by lose body skin
4. Yappy, ear-piercing bark.
5. Tries to piss on me the first time I see him if it's been a long time. Actually pissed a little in my mouth when Nick pointed him at me once.

Contestant #3
Full Name: "Mayzee Grace"
Nickname: "Pug" , "Puggle-ton" , "Snortey Mc.Snorterson" , "Stupid" , "Alien" , (referring to it as not "he" or "she" but the indefinite article) "It" , "Fuckface" , "Fat-ass" , "Retard"
Affiliation: Colette's dog
Pro's:
1. Toughest dog ever! I thought I broke it's neck twice while rough housing with It only for It to get up, shake it off and come back for more.
2. Loves the laser light
3. Constant source of entertainment. Just looking at It makes me laugh!
4. Does a cool trick where Alien sits and stares at a piece of food for a minute before I snap my fingers signaling approval to eat.
5. Walks controlled on a leash under my strict tutelage (though this goes out the window when Colette takes over). I'm in the process of making Fuckface a service dog vest so we can go into grocery stores and government buildings together.
6. Can pick Puggleton up by any skin on it's body. Won't make a peep cause she knows snitches get stitches!

Con's
1. Eye fucks the shit out of me when I feel like being lazy and she wants to go outside
2. Sneezes and blows snot on windows and your face.
3. If Retard falls asleep before i can, Fatass's snoring can make it impossible for slumber to occur. I've actually, in the middle of the night, woken up, swore at it and threatened to stab it in the throat if it didn't shut-the-fuck-up. And I used to be such a nice guy.
4. Is absolutely defenseless and poorly designed. Seriously, has no snout, muffled bark, exposed anus, huge chested (swims poorly - see video), pea-sized brain.
5. It's curled tail means it has an exposed anus. This means that anytime it's sitting, it's O-ring is touching something you probably don't want it to. I don't even want to think of my pillowcase right now.
6. Voting for O'bama simply because she is black and so is he ... sort of.
7. Member of the NAACP. National Association for the Advancement of Colored Pugs.
8. Did I mention it's exposed anus?







Contestant #4

Name: "Darby"
Nickname: "Darbo"
Affiliation: Parent's dog
Pro's:
1. Good guard dog. Let's you know when someone is breaching the perimeter of the compound
2. Friendly and docile demeanor
3. Isn't needy
4. Noble looking w/ sage-like grey beard
5. Listens. This is more than I can say for any other dogs on the list.

Con's: None. Much like Nick Lidstrom's playoff performance, is completely flawless.

I realize that all the dogs on this contest were black. It wasn't "the man" pressuring the affirmative action thing, just purely coincidental.

Update: Last week, Kooter, a single mother and lifelong welfare recipient with little to no vocational skills, did the right thing and "took care of" her unborn fetuses. Yeah, she did what you think she did but worry not, no coat-hangers were harmed in the process.

Monday, June 9, 2008

June 9th, 2007- A day that will forever live in infamy

I can remember it like it was yesterday. While I was packing up my personal affects, reflecting on my first year of teaching two students stopped by. Cy, whom happens to be a hockey fan, stopped by every Tuesday to watch Hockey with me in my classroom (watching prime time hockey at 1 p.m in Maui feels criminal), and Jun stopped by my classroom to see if they could offer me any help packing up. It was a nice gesture on their behalf considering they didn't have to be there but I think they were disappointed to find that my personal belongings amounted to only a rolled up Steve Yzerman "Commitment" poster (I have a thing about travelling light) and for whatever reason, a basketball. Folks who know me will find this particularly amusing because I once challenged Stephen Hawkings to one-on-one ... and lost 11-4.

The Hawaiian kids thought I looked like Steve Yzerman. "Ho Mr. is dat you, brah?" is what they would say in their pigeon tongue. I thought this was endearing and the took this in the highest order of compliment because you, me and the worlds population can all agree that "The Captain," is a very handsome man.

Anyways, June 9th, 2007 was the last day of my teaching contract. A half-day at that, and in true Hohn fashion, swiftly became a quarter-day. That was the last day I paid into a ridiculous war, the last day I paid for a politicians lavish Hampton's vacation, the last time anyone owned me and I've never felt better ....

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Oh, I really outdid myself on this one!

I was laying in bed last night thinking about win the Red Wings put together, greatful I was about such a win, but I couldn't stop lamenting over how fantastic a game 5 triple-OT cup-winner would have been at home. Pa and I determined that we didn't want the Wings to drop game 6 and win it at home in game 7 (classic bird in hand vs. two in the bush scenario). On the other hand, I was thinking about how shitty it would have been to be on the losing side. The Pens were on a huge emtional surge after game 5 only to be inches away from from forcing a decisive game 7. In the minutes after the game concluded, I saw two great pictures of Malkin in heavy dispair. Basically your classic "wow-this-fucking-sucks/I-wanna-kill-myself" look.

No one dawned a better "wow-this-fucking-sucks/I-wanna-kill-myself" look better than J.S Giguere did after a heartbreak game 7 Stanley Cup Final's loss in 2003. Besides a Brook Shield's dose of Prozac, his only consilation prize was the Conn-Smythe trophy. Only 5 players have won the trophy in a losing effort.

In the sick and twisted stylings of the Demotivational Calendars (thanks Sean), I came up with this litte gem in a rare moment of brilliance. If a picture is worth a thousand words, these are worth 1015.

Wow, huh? Before you non-hockey types jump on me for my spelling (it's a proven fact that all white people are obsessed with grammar) of "Hart" look up what the "Hart Trophy" is before you get your panties in a twist. Otherwise, hockey types will find this amazingly clever. Malkin, Hart Trophy, courage, cowardly lion? I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a phone call from Kevin over this one.

(Garrett breathes on knuckles and brushes them against his chest in smug approval)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Sweet Jeebus, Wings Win! Only 102 days before training camp begins.

And how bad-ass is this photo? The puck threatens to enter the net as the score board pictured in the background turns to 0.0. Not sure if my ticker, and possibly bowels, could have handled another OT sesh.
Yep, thats how the game ended and the championship was won. If anyone finds a Youtube video of Crosby crying, please let me know.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Suicide Watch

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you just wish you were dead. That's where I was last night perched upon the couch with a beer and glassy eyes trying to make sense of what had just happened. I've been through a lot of OT games. I sat in a casino, drinking beer with Sean for the 5OT gem that was game 1 of the 2003 Western Conference Final's. If different when YOUR team isn't involved. You can actually watch the game for what it is; really intense hockey. You anus doesn't pucker up and you aren't nauseous. I guess what I am saying is that you probably wouldn't punch a hole through your television if the cable went out. It doesn't help that the Wings seem to blow it in OT. My only positive Red Wings playoff moments are these (If you want a trip down nostalgia lane view the clip and at 45 seconds Tag Team's "Whoop, There Is" is heard);





Which makes it so disappointing that they blew game 5. We were close, so close, to winning Sweet Lord Stanley's shiny chalice at home. Ordinarily a cup is a cup but I am concerned that times are becoming so tough in Michigan, that they might part out Joe Louis Arena for scrap metal.

I say "we" because I have been a rabid Wings fan since I was 12. In fact, I love hockey and the Wings so much I think about ways that other sports could improvement upon themselves and be more like hockey. If only basketball would allow player to hurl their bodies into other ball carriers in an effort to dislodge the ball, the sport would be much better. Still not watchable, but much better. I haven't missed a Wings playoff game since 2001 (too poor for TV at the time), though I missed the first 2 periods of game 2 vs. the Dallas Stars this year, and trust me, wasn't happy about it. I'm still looking for that extra step to show my dedication. Being not much of a tattoo kind of guy the only thing I have every thought about engraving on myself are the following; The winged wheel, "#19," the Captain's "C" on my upper pec, and last but not least "Mrs. Steve Yzerman." (before you assholes judge me with my Yzerman obsession, you should look into your own closets. I bet half of you are addicted to Asian porn or something. Ah shit, so am I! Nevermind.)

I thought I would post a message to all concerned parties that yes, I am still alive after the tragic 3 OT loss. It makes me wonder if one of my friends has started a life insurance policy on me and wondering if it was time to collect. One overtime turned into two and my condition worsened. Though last rights were administered not once but twice, I managed to pull through with the aid of an IV drip, a beer and the knowledge that we still have 2 cracks to win the cup clinching game. I was caught with razor blades in a back alley by the police but I told them that I was "researching a movie role" so they let me go! Zing! What kind of name is Tatum anyways?


The next time you see a photo of this nature it will be a European wearing the "C" hoisting the cup. Though us xenophobic American's won't feel as uncomfortable because Lidstrom's English is completely sans accent (seriously, if you have ever heard him talk you would swear he was born and raised USA - as opposed to those hard-to-understand backwoods Canadian types "well ah, I just dooon't know aboat thaat eh").

Monday, June 2, 2008

The Ethos of Mallard

As much as I love debating, chapping asses and "being that guy," I know my place. I know when I don't know what I am talking about, which is why when conversations gravitate towards subject I nothing about such as or general proper etiquette, I bow out quickly. The funny thing is that my previously aforementioned acknowledgment won't keeping me from interjecting a quick, often ill-informed, comment about organized religion and how I think it is a farce. I guess what I am saying is that I know I have my place. Balls deep in an impetuous argument involving politics is not one of them.

Below is a running transcript between Mallard who happens to be a die-hard Ron Paul supporter and her friend Alexis who supports O'bama. Mel's dialogue will be displayed in bold. I'll be posting a new post shortly after this so stay tuned.

Actually, he did suggest it and he even drew up a plan in how our country would help wipe out poverty in the whole world. With .7% of the nation's gross that isn't his to spend over the span of ten or fifteen years at a whopping $845 billion... that's how he would do it.

"I guess it's like this: Ron Paul's policies are poorly conceived. Restricting the power of the federal government and its ability to regulate business would only serve to further empower the wealthiest."

But don't you see that these greedy corporations are in bed with these politicians? Why do they keep getting such amazing tax cuts and benefits? Who's writing up these clauses and bills? The politicians!! By continuously voting for a politician that is the same as any other politician (lets refer to our friends, The Who, on this one, "Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss."), YOU are further lining the pockets of the corporations you so strongly oppose.

"I'm not saying things aren't fucked, not by a long shot. I just think we disagree on the actual source of corruption. We were just reading about "the next great depression", because of all this fucked up Sub Prime loan bullshit. It's a perfect example of the private sector eating itself. A few companies will improve their quarterly profits and wind up sinking the entire US economy. The CEOs responsible will probably get huge raises and retire before the shit even hits the fan 6 months later. And I have to think that there needs to be some power there to step in at some point and say, "You can't do that." And the federal government gives (or should give) us a voice in these matters."

I love it, I absolutely love it! You are citing Ron Paul! You're right, it is a few private companies running this country into a depression, the Federal Reserve, namely. They were/are printing out paper money by the tons and calling it valuable all the while encouraging the banks to ease up on their loan requirements to let more and more people get into debt that they couldn't afford. Meanwhile, needing to print more and more money to keep up with the demand. And still, they are printing more and more pieces of paper to "stimulate the economy" and encourage you and I, at 600 bucks each, to go out and Consume! Consume! Consume!
On what, stuff? Where does this stuff come from? Mostly not from this country! Cars, shoes, clothes, even some mother fucking FOOD is foreign! So now all that profit heads right out the door further enriching other countries and further killing ours. But please, WE must help other countries. We are the most "powerful and prosperous" country, it is our responsibility to make sure that the poor Mexican farmer keeps his avocado farm from going under while at the exact time our farmers are forced to sell out to make way for more subdivisions that people will pay way too much for and get into debt. Problem solved, print more money.
Or how about unofficially going to war to fight the "T" word, something we will NEVER be able to wipe out as they are not condensed to just one country, so let's stay in war forever. Like you said, "why not bring back some of the troops in peaceful nations" and "save some money." Or better yet, why not bring back ALL of the troops in all peaceful nations as well as the nations that we have no right or even better, AUTHORITY to be in and save billions! Let's bring them home and protect our borders (I just read a bill that Obama was on to grant illegals amnesty on many different levels. Let me find the link for you) and stop trying to dictate democracy to everyone. Here's basically a sum of that bill, I was searching all morning... I come across this stuff all the time and never think to bookmark it. Basically, all my findings in a nutshell:

His immigration and amnesty track record proves the reports findings. Sen. Obama supports amnesty, the McCain-Kennedy Comprehensive Immigration (Amnesty) Reform, and wants to give welfare and Medicaid to illegal aliens.

Yeesh, the fact that he would support anything by McCain is alarming. Like I've said before, at least McCain wears his corruption right on his face!

"And if there was no government they would completely fuck us over. Like paying people in china $0.17 an hour cause there is no government control over there."

No government control? Sounds like complete and total government control! Obviously, the rest of the wage is going straight to their corrupt government because the Chinamen (yes, I know, not the preferred nomenclature) are LETTING them. Also, again, we're not talking about no government, we're talking about limited government as those clever fellows, Thomas Jefferson and Benny Franklin suggested.

I think that you're stuck on these corporations but don't you think the problems run deeper? You have the NWS (News World Corp) which owns FOX and they have foreign interests contributing to them. Which then of course filters down to the MSM. They have the POWER to sway and/or down right tell Americans how it is. Do you really suppose what happened/is happening to Ron Paul is fair? They were pretty adamant that Guiliani was a front runner and he didn't do shit.

Before any of the primaries even started, before ANY votes were cast(!!), we were told RP was a fringe candidate and had no chance (even when text message polls after debates proved otherwise!:)), and 90% of Americans believed it. Though I truly believe there are more than 10% of us.

So then when they put him in a media blackout, not only not acknowledging him but not even saying anything negative about him... nobody knew/knows he existed/exists.
If you look at his election down in Texas for his seat back in Congress, he won his district by 70% because people know of him and his stance. So much for McHillama wanting the best man/woman to win. They're all scared of him!
If the American people TRULY took the time to research him, there would be no contest. He crosses all lines and parties, he applies to EVERY American. Well, maybe the corrupt ones would have a hard time swallowing it but like you said, it's just a private few of those!:)

But anyway, you have to ask yourself where are these greedy corps getting their funds from? You also have to ask if Americans would have supported this war if they knew they were going to be directly taxed on it by creating money out of thin air that the Constitution directly prohibits? Why are we intentionally shipping all of our jobs out of this country and sending our money straight to the foreigners? Why are we talking about a North American Union for Christ's sake!?!? Why would our government, who has the authority to coin it's own currency, approve the Federal Reserve Act so many decades ago and continue to borrow money from them that has interest on top of it (so it can NEVER be paid off, EVER) from a group that has nothing federal about it? Why why why?

It runs much deeper and those candidates that say this and that and how they're going to bring change are really all the same only taking different routes to an inevitable end.

"...And I'm not talking about having to pay income taxes, because that's just a civic duty at this point. Somebody's got to pay to maintain roads, clean water, support the military, etc."

Don't even get me started on the income tax because that is the greatest example of personal freedoms that have stripped! (Not one dime of this goes to roads, schools, etc. We have other taxes, constitutional taxes, for that. It goes to pay off the debt which can never happen and you're right, it helps fund the military that we should not be fighting in the war in the first place.)

Well where do I even begin to start on the rest?

A few freedoms that I, personally, would like to get back (some small, some much greater):

-The freedom of not being taxed on my labor. My labor is between my employer and I. I labor, my employer compensates me. I would like to have that six or so years worth of paychecks to have not been raped.
-The freedom (and right) to keep and bear arms. You know my family, we are gun people! Any law of gun control is a direct violation.
-The freedom of driving in my car sans seat belt. This should be MY CHOICE and I should not be fined if I CHOOSE not to wear it. And I have been ticketed.
-The freedom of being able to drive "reasonable and prudent." Remember that? MT's state government said, "No thanks, I'm just fine and dandy" when the federal gov stepped in and said they needed to do away with the no speed limit. Instead of respecting the state govs decision, as they are Constitutionally suppose to do, they withheld money that MT was entitled to, until they complied.
-The freedom to carry liquids on an airplane! This was incredibly obnoxious and inconvenient but hey, all in the name of "security," right?
-My freedom to buy groceries, a necessity of life, in my state without being taxed on it. I paid a few hundred dollars last year to the state of Idaho in the form of a 6% sales tax on GROCERIES. Not fast food, not take out. Bread and milk. When trying to further write more legislation to keep this atrocity (remember, I testified to kill it?), Idaho now says they cannot do without this money, they need it. Why is that I have to worry about budgeting and saving my money but not our government? They just print more money and tax us to get what they want.

Some scarier freedoms that nobodies acknowledging:
-My guess is when and not if Real ID Act gets voted through and I don't comply, my freedom to fly on an airplane, to get a driver's license, or to walk into a federal building is GONE.
-My freedom of depositing a large sum of money in the bank (I wish). I would not be envied as a girl who came into good fortune but rather flagged on someone to watch.
-My freedom from the "Homegrown Terrorist Prevention Act." Need I say another goddamned thing more? The name speaks for itself.
-My RIGHT to habeas corpus. And I quote, "through which a person can seek relief from unlawful detention of himself or another person."
-My freedom of privacy. Through the unfortunately named "Patriot Act," no longer does my privacy mean anything all in the hopes of fighting terrorism. You can also tie W's new bill he's pushing for, the eavesdropping bill, in this though I'm sure he came up with a snappier name.

"Again, I'm not saying the government is perfect, in any institution that large there's going to be waste."

Exactly, our government was never suppose to be LARGE. It was a limited open government run by We the People. I just can't understand why you keep acknowledging it's corruption and greed (eight different times!) and claim you don't like it but yet you have ONE candidate who agrees with you on it's corruption and actually wants to DO SOMETHING about it and you're like, "No way! Gotta vote for the guy who's gonna perpetuate it!" Help me out here because you're a reasonable and educated person.

I suppose I should conclude now. I've always considered you to be a color-outside-of-the-lines kind of girl, that's why I like you. You're college educated but making a living on something you love to do out of your house with a boyfriend who was creative enough to do the same, and do well, from your 'earth loving' folks that emphasized on education to your shaggy bro who just roamed China for six months studying martial arts and alternative medicine... Here we have a candidate whom the news claims is "out there" but compared to the others and candidates past, he seems to be a guy who colors outside of lines too. He doesn't conform to what "they" want him to be.

For the first time in a looooooooong time, we have ONE candidate who has only and will only vote for the Constitution EVERY TIME. He has twenty years and change of records that proves it. No matter how small and insignificant, if it smally violates the Constitution, he vetoed it.
Not any of the other candidates, not even America's sweetheart, Obama, can say this. You mean to tell me of the few candidates we have left you cannot vote for the guy who has YOUR best interest in mind?

If you can still say no way then I whole heartily agree with my dad when he says (not sure if it's his or if he read it somewhere),

In the end, America will get the government it deserves."

I'd like to add, her rebuttal didn't want to argue "seat belt" and "speed limit" laws that were too "insignificant" and "unimportant." I explained back to her that she should absolutely want to argue such unimportant laws as the masses would be much more hesitate to be herded onto the train cars if it weren't for the small "harmless" laws to get us accustomed to the idea. I should mention at this time, she is Jewish.

Also, since this debate, Real ID has not been widely received (MT governor BITCH SLAPPED it and other states have followed suit!) BUT fear not, it's coming back in different names, the newest that I know of is the Secure Security Card Act.