Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Angry letter writing consumer strikes again!

That should be my pen name but instead I want corporate America to know exactly who is being a pain-in-their-ass . It's more of a therapeutic measure than anything else. Some suggest I might have a problem. Most just think I have too much time on my hands.

Free stuff I have scored via sharply worded letter and verbal protest;

1. 25 dollar gift certificate and hand written apology letter from Taco Bell
Reason?: I waited 22 minutes in the drive through at 8pm
2. One month DirecTv programming
Reason?: Honestly, I don't remember.
3. One month Verizon service
Reason?: Sub-par reception in my apartment
4. Free Canon Digital camera from Wal-Mart
Reason?: Accidentally soaked my digital camera in apple juice. Funny thing is I bought it from Best Buy. Wal-Mart is wicked easy to scam and they are an even multi billion dollar nameless corporation. Everyone wins!
5. Panda Express - Free 3 Entree Meal
Reason?: 25 minutes before close I went to Panda Express, P.E for brevities sake, to get one orange chicken and two kung pao chicken. They only had enough for one portion and refused to make me another dish. Friends of mine know exactly how serious I am about my kung pao chicken. Suffice to say, I wasn't exactly elated with the Chinaman's gaffe and misappropriation of precious aforementioned delicacy. Three minutes worth of email and six days later, I had a free meal voucher.
6. Hawaiian Airlines gives me a 300 dollar travel voucher.
Reason?: Hawaiian loses my bags for five days. I call four different times and then 30 days later, travel voucher appears.
7. Hp/Compaq - Free laptop
Reason?: I am currently writing a hate letter write now. The issue is about 80% resolved. A complex litigatory gag order prevents we from expounding. I will post when to issue has been resolved.

September 10th

Dear Home Depot (Kalispell, MT store),

Every time I contemplate entering a Home Depot store, I struggle with a conflict of interest. While Home Depot typically has the best selection of products, and good prices, it also comes with the deserved reputation of scarcity when it comes to receiving help. The joke around these parts is you have a better chance of finding Jimmy Hoffa then any help in Home Depot.

So it was no surprise to anyone that when I needed help, assistance was no where to be found. The product I was trying to get to was a new pallet of roofing felt paper. It was on the second shelf about five feet in the air. Not seeing an employee in sight, and after doing a couple of laps around neighboring isles in hope of obtaining assistance, it became clear I would be assisting myself. A fellow shopper lent me a knife to peel away the protective plastic barrier. Just as was loading the 3rd roll of felt paper on my cart I heard a voice. “You need to take the rolls from the bottom,” the voice firmly protested. I retorted that the rolls from the bottom were heavily tattered and I wanted the ones in good condition. Somewhat agitated he said, “Well, I’d help you but I am too busy right now,” and then made his way to another isle. I was completely dumbfounded, and to complicate matters, he left in such haste I was unable to get his name tag to report this blatant disregard to a supervisor. Sadly, after I thought about it, he probably was supervision. There was no, “I’m sorry to have erroneously accused you of wrong doing.” Just as there was no “just a moment sir let me radio someone over to help you.”

At the end of the day, however, I did learn a valuable lesson. While good prices and an expansive product selection are desirable attributes to boast, an inept and rude sales staff is not. Thank you for settling my "conflict of interest."


Garrett Hohn


Melissa said...


kate_newman_elizabeth said...

Good job Garrett. You should ask Angie about the Safeway pregnancy test injustice. I love it when I get to be a bitch. And apparently, so do you!

Bob Newman said...

Well put Garrett.I like the reference to Jimmy Hoffa.

Kate's Mom! Alana said...

Hi Garrett!

Love your Consumer Angry Letter blog.
My consumer story - Lundens Cough Drops. After paying 45 cents for a package of cough drops that truly tasted like last years Halloween Candy, I mailed the rotten cough drops to Lundens Corp along with a letter demanding my 45 cents back, plus the 23 cents postage for the cost of sending them the letter, plus a dollar for my pain and suffering.

Luddens responded with a letter of appology, the lab report on the cough drops that I had mailed to them, and $1.68 cash per my request. That letter was followeed by several boxes stuffed full of every product made by the Ludens company - mostly candy for several weeks.

Keep up the good work! Have you ever read the "Lazlo Troth Letters"? I believe the book was written in the late 70's - same concept - letters of complaints to Corporate America. These days the email format makes it much easier.

Power to the People!

Anonymous said...

I like your letter, but you couldn't reach rolls only 5 feet in the air? Even I can reach that, and I'm short!